


Princess

by chelonianmobile



Category: Penguins of Madagascar
Genre: Acceptance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Misgendering, Trans Male Character, Transgender, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:39:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3459443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chelonianmobile/pseuds/chelonianmobile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exploration of a Wild Mass Guessing. Written pre-All Hail King Julien, so not entirely backstory compatible, but the WMG is still my headcanon. (Offensive comments and phrasings are from the characters' POV, not mine, and since they're kiddie-show heroes the offense is from ignorance and not malice.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The inhabitants of the zoo were woken, as usual, by noise from the lemur enclosure. For once, however, it was not music but screams of terror.

“NOOOOOOOOOO! HEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!”

“Come on, you stupid wannabe monkey, it’s just a checkup!” Alice readjusted her grip and yanked at Julien, trying to detach his grip from the enclosure wall. While she didn’t speak lemur and thus couldn’t understand his actual words, the screeching and clawing got the message across. “Just ... a ... routine ... checkup! Don’t make me get the tranquilisers!”

“Maurice, help me! I do not want to be doing this thing!”

Maurice sighed and shook his head. “Sorry, your majesty, but I really think you have to get your checkup.”

“I don’t want to!”  


Maurice took hold of Julien’s paws and, in the process, “accidentally” prised the ringtail’s grip free from the wall, allowing Alice to shove him into a carry cage. “Oops.”

“TRAITOR!” Julien scrabbled at the cage and swore loudly. “Penguins! Help your king! HEEEEELP MEEEEEE!”

Private, hearing the shrieks outside, leaned out of his bunk and looked up at the hatch. “Should we help him?”

Skipper slid up the ladder and knocked the hatch out of the way. “Why? We all have to take the checkups, it won’t kill him.”

“Yeah!” Rico popped up beside Skipper, watching Alice retreat towards the Animal Care buillding.

“Should we at least go and check up on him?”

“Negatory, Private. He doesn’t need help and he definitely doesn’t need encouraging.”

“Oh, come on, Skipper! It’s not fair to leave him alone in the hospital.”

“Oh, you’re making that face again! That’s your ‘cute and cuddly’ face! Do not make that face at me, soldier! ...”

Private continued to make the face. “Please?”

Skipper sighed. “Fine.”

Carefully, the group approached the Animal Care building. Julien’s screams and swearing continued to float from the window.

“OW! Put me down – stoppit NONONONO NOT THE FEET! Ahh ... No! Tail even worse! Ow ow OW!”

Private shuddered and clasped his flippers. “Ooh, that doesn’t sound nice at all.”

“Pfft. He’ll be fine.” Skipper waved dismissively. “Not like he’s getting a shot. Urrrrrgh.” He winced, remembering his own experiences with the zoo vet.

There was a loud shriek from Julien. “AAH! COLD!”

“Ah, sounds like the thermometer,” said Kowalski, sounding like he was enjoying Julien’s suffering far too much. Rico cackled.

“Ooh. Hang in there, Julien, it’s nearly over!” Private yelled up to the window.

The screaming tailed off into whimpering, and eventually stopped. There was a rattling noise and a click, and the veterinarian’s voice said “Back in the cage you go. There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“Y-y-yesss. Yes, it really was,” hissed Julien. The vet, not understanding, ignored him. The sound of running water indicated the vet was washing his hands, and a rattling suggested Alice was picking the cage up.  


“Everything okay here, doc?”  


“Yes indeed, we have a fine healthy lemur here. And you’re a beauty, too, aren’t you, girl? Yes you are, I bet your little friends love you!”  


The penguins looked at each other and blinked.  


“Uh, that vet needs to pick a better time,” Skipper muttered. “And I don’t think much of his taste. Or his pickup lines.”  


Kowalski tried to peer in the window. “Somehow I don’t think he’s talking to Alice. Must be someone else in there.”  


Rico grunted “Who?”  


“Good question, Rico – who? Marlene had her checkup yesterday, and the badgers are both still in their habitat.” Private gestured towards the badger enclosure, where Becky and Stacey were charging frantically around and giggling as usual.  


The door opened and Alice left the building, holding Julien’s carrying cage in one hand. The penguins hid behind a trashcan, and as usual Alice failed to notice them. Julien was curled up, shaking violently, and glaring in the direction of the vet’s building. The penguins put it down to post-checkup shock and thought nothing of it. Alice opened the cage and deposited Julien back in his habitat, where he scurried back to his throne, scooping up his dropped crown on the way, and curled up again in the throne, still shaking.  


Maurice and Mort emerged from hiding and slunk up to the throne. “Uh, your majesty?”  


“I am not talking to you. Stupid traitor making me do stupid checkup.”  


“Look, I know it sucks, but we all have to do it.”  


“Yes, yes, I do not care. Still stupid checkup.” Julien sighed. “Stupid checkup with the poking and the touching and the grabbing everything and knowing ...” He shuddered violently, then looked down and snapped “Do not even be thinking about it, Mort! I am not in the mood!”  


Mort, who had been reaching one paw towards Julien’s feet, withdrew it rapidly and looked innocent.  


“Hey, ringtail!” The lemurs looked around to see the penguin squad jumping up on the wall. Skipper waved. “Problems?”  


“Yes. Stupid penguins not helping me when I needed help and stupid traitors and stupid humans making me do stupid checkups!” Julien angrily shook a fist at Skipper, who remained unmoved. Mort took the opportunity to grab Julien’s feet again, and was promptly kicked off.  


“Yeah, we’re all very sympathetic. Did he find anything? Anything which would require quarantine?”  


“Hey, stop sounding so hopeful!”  


“Sorry, Julien, but look on the bright side, it’s over now!” Private said cheerily. “Oh, was the lady in there with you alright?”  


“Huh? Who?”  


“Well, we heard the doctor talking to a girl, and we don’t think it was Alice.”  


“Girl? ... Oh. Oh! Uh. Hehe. I ... didn’t see.” Julien twined his tailfur in his fingers and chuckled nervously. “Go check, she might still be there. ”  


Skipper glanced sceptically back at Animal Care. “Hm. Well, no lasting harm done to you, so we’ll see you around, ringtail. C’mon, men.”  


As they headed back to the surgery, Skipper hissed quietly to the others “Something’s smelling fishy here.”  


“Can’t be us, we haven’t had breakfast yet,” said Private, sniffing at himself.  


“Feeesh!” Rico cheered and clapped.  


“Not now, Rico. No, I mean about our prosimian friends’ behaviour. Did you see? He told Mort not to touch his feet and Mort actually listened. Okay, not for long, but still.” Skipper waved vaguely.  


“Good point,” mused Kowalski, tapping his chin in thought. “If he’s upset enough to really scare Mort away it must have been serious.”  


“More serious than the thermometer?” Private winced. “I hate it when they use the thermometer.”  


“Sssh!” Kowalski jumped onto the windowsill and peered inside. “Coast’s clear. C’mon ...”  


The other three jumped up beside him and looked into the surgery. It was empty of both animals and humans. There wasn’t even another carrying cage lying around.  


“Huh?” Rico glanced around as if expecting the mystery female to appear out of nowhere.  


“Must be in the next room,” Private commented. “Permission to look around, Skipper?”  


Permission was granted, but careful snooping revealed nobody else up for treatment. The vet was busy at the computer, and all the temporary holding enclosures were empty. Skipper scratched his chin.  


“Something not right is going on here ... yes, Rico, what is it?” Rico gestured wildly back in the direction of the lemur habitat and babbled. Skipper listened closely and interpreted. “... Yeess. Good idea. Let’s go ask him ...”  


Julien had got over his discomfort and was lounging on the rebuilt “Super Comfy Pamper-Time Floaty Throne”, filing his toenails. Mort was watching in fascination and being ignored, as usual.  


“RINGTAIL!”  


“Ow!” Julien yelped; he’d jumped and stabbed himself between the toes with the file as Skipper reappeared over the wall. “What, what is it you are wanting, annoying penguin?”  


“Well, it’s the darndest thing, but we went to the Animal Care building, and there’s nobody else in there,” Skipper said with a disarming grin. “We haven’t seen anyone else come out today, either. So we can only conclude that either our vet’s developed imaginary friends, or he was talking to you.”  


“Huh? Well, yes, he talks to everyone who goes in for-“  


“He called you ‘girl’, ringtail.”  


Julien’s expression froze. “Oh. That.” He chuckled and broke into an uneasy grin. “Uh, well ... you know how humans are, they can’t tell the difference with other species. Very stupid species, they are.”  


“Well, I guess you’re right there,” Skipper said, wincing as he remembered the chaos that had ensued when Alice had assumed she knew better than the penguins what their genders were. “Sorry you had to put up with that. I’ll leave you to whatever it is you’re doing.”  


“Okay, bye bye now!” Julien waved, still grinning. Skipper mentally filed this away as suspicious behaviour as he jumped back down to the path.  


“Definitely something fishy, boys,” he said in an undertone. “If the vet really did just make a mistake, why’s ringtail letting it get to him? Well, normally he’d let it get to him, but normally he’d be complaining to anyone in earshot. This time he doesn’t seem to want to talk about it.”  


“Julien doesn’t want to talk about something? But he talks about everything!” Private pointed out. “Constantly!”  


“And I’m suspicious about the claim that the vet doesn’t know,” Kowalski added. “Unless lemurs and humans are drastically different in that anatomical region – which I admit is possible, I’m not an expert in that field – surely a veterinary surgeon would know the difference? They’re both mammals, how different can they be?”  


“Yeah!” Rico said, nodding vigorously.  


Skipper’s eyes narrowed. “I think we might do well to keep an eye on our royal friend ...”


	2. Chapter 2

“Cute and cuddly, boys, cute and cuddly!”

The day was progressing as normal, everyone doing their part to entertain the flocks of people; wagging tails, big eyes, faux-clumsy walks, and all the other usual tricks. Kids cheered and adults cooed.

One particular child caught Skipper’s ever-watchful eye. Not content with merely watching the animals, the small boy in question was busily reading the information placards on each enclosure, out loud.

“The pen-guin is a flig-ut ... flight-less bird na-tive to Ant-arc-ti-ca ...” the child chanted solemnly, blinking behind his oversized spectacles.

“Very good, Timmy! Very good!” his mother cooed, ruffling his hair.

“Keep an eye on that one,” Skipper whispered to Kowalski. “Kid’s too curious for his own good. Private! Distraction!”

“Penguins are a-kew-at-ic ...”

“Aquatic, Timmy dear, it means they live in water. Oh, look at that little one! Awwww!”

Timmy was suitably distracted by Private’s tail-wagging, and Skipper relaxed. When Timmy and his mother moved on to the lemur habitat, Timmy peered at the lemur’s information placard.

“Le-murs are pro-sim-i-ans ... Mommy, what’s that mean?”

“Prosimians. A bit like monkeys, but different.”

“Oh ... native to Mad-a-gas-car. That’s in Africa, isn’t it, Mommy?”

“Well, it’s near Africa, dear, it’s a big island just next to Africa. Well done, Timmy, you’re good at this!”

Timmy blinked solemnly and continued to read. “Lemurs are mat-, uh, matt-ritch-al ... Mommy?”

“Matriarchal, dear, it says ‘matriarchal’.”

“Oh. What’s that?”

“It means the girl lemurs are in charge, dear.”

“Just like with you and me?”

Timmy’s mother laughed. The penguins stopped watching the family and looked at each other.

“Hmm. Suspicious?” Private asked Kowalski.

“I don’t know ...” Kowalski mused. “Our lemurs don’t have a female, and Julien’s probably the closest thing they have to an authority figure. Still, you’d think a vet would know better than to assume, even if he didn’t look close enough to notice the difference.”

“Hm.” Skipper glanced in the direction of the lemurs. Julien fortunately hadn’t heard what the family were saying, and was enthusiastically shaking his tail as usual. “Rico! Stop that!”

“Aw!” Rico stopped bobbing his head to the lemur’s music and resumed the usual routine.

“That’s it,” Skipper said approvingly. “Smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave.”

~

The peace of the night was broken by a sudden racket from the lemur habitat.

“RA-RA AH-HA HA, ROMA ROMA-MA, GA-GA OOH-LA-LA ...”

“RINGTAIL!”

The penguins arrived at the lemur habitat in record time, to see Julien prancing about as usual, singing along at the top of his lungs. Someone had dropped a plastic spork at some point during the day, and Julien was now clutching it and singing into it in lieu of a microphone. Mort and Maurice were manning the boombox.

“-I want your everythin’ as long as it’s free, love love love I want your love! I-“

“Will you shut the heck up?!” Skipper yelled.

Julien stopped singing, but continued to strut around, swinging his hips and paws in rhythm to the thumping music. “What, and deprive my public of my wonderfulness?”

“Nobody cares! We are TRYING to SLEEP!”

“Sleep is for the weak, silly penguins!” Julien cartwheeled, holding the spork with his tail and laughing wildly. “Lady Gaga will not be denied!”

“Dammit, Julien, turn that noise down! You’re not the only animal in the zoo, princess!”

This statement had a much greater effect on Julien than Skipper had expected. Both the spork and his lower jaw dropped, and he drew back as if Skipper had bitten him. Maurice gasped and quickly switched off the boombox.

“Now, that was uncalled for!” the aye-aye snapped, before Julien scurried up and clung to him.

“They know! Maurice, how is it they are knowing?!”

“I don’t know, but let’s calm down and talk about this rationally-“

“Talk about what?”

The lemurs stopped and looked guilty. Maurice grinned unconvincingly and said “Nothing.”

Skipper’s eyes narrowed. “Look, it’s blatantly obvious something weird is going on with you lemurs. Tell us what’s going on, or we’ll end up finding out anyway.”

“That’s not much incentive to tell you, I must say,” Maurice pointed out.

“If we find out some other way we’ll mercilessly mock you all for whatever it is. How about that?”

Maurice looked up at Julien. “I think we’re gonna have to tell them.”

Julien sagged and sighed “Fine. But I do this under protest.”

Maurice looked at the penguins and Mort. “You should all sit down, this is gonna take a while.”

“Well, if we are having storytime let us be doing it properly ... Maurice! My puppets!” Maurice produced a box, from which Julien took a small crudely-made hand-puppet in the shape of a lemur with a pink flower on its ear. He held it up and began the story; “Once upon a time, there was a very pretty little princess-“

Kowalski raised a flipper and said “This had better not be like the time I asked where you’d hidden the TV remote and you tried to reply in Choose Your Own Adventure format. I kept getting eaten by rabid fire ants. And for the record, Julien, the term ‘fire ants’ does not refer to ants that are on fire.”

“No, no, this will be making perfect sense when I am done, I promise. So, this princess was very smart and very pretty and very popular, and best of all very modest-”

Skipper groaned “I don’t wanna hear the details of your love life, ringtail.”

“What? No! I hated her!”

“Or your hate life. I don’t see what your grudge against some girl has to do with anything-“

“Will you all just shut up and listen?!” Julien cleared his throat and continued, pulling another lemur puppet from the box. This one wore a crown similar to Julien’s. “Anyway, the princess was the only daughter of Queen Julienne the Twelfth, and so she was next in line to be queen of the lemurs. You see, lemurs are supposed to have a queen – when we have a king he’s sort of supposed to only be ruling until he finds a ladyfriend to take over, you know. It’s not fair at all but there you go.”

“Yes, get to the darn point!” Skipper snapped, then blinked as Julien flinched. “Egad, you’re actually upset about this.”

“Well, yes. Why are you thinking I did not want to tell you?” Julien snapped.

“I-I’m sorry,” Skipper said, thinking how weird it was to see Julien having difficulty talking about something. “I didn’t realise. Please, carry on.”

“I remember the princess!” Mort piped up. “She was soooo pretty ...”

“Yes she was, but right now she’s telling a story, Mort, so shut up!” Julien shouted, waving the puppets angrily. “So. The little princess should have been very happy, but she wasn’t.” He made the pink-flowered puppet’s head droop. “And for a long time she didn’t know why, because, you know, princess. Pretty sweet life. But eventually she figured out that the problem was, to be a princess, you have to be a girl.”

The penguins blinked at him. “Uh, yes. So what was the problem?”

“Well, the problem was she didn’t want to be a girl, silly penguin!”

“Why not?” Private asked, tilting his head curiously.

“Do you want to be a girl? Same thing.”

“No, but I’m not one. I think,” said Private, looking down curiously at himself.

“Look, will you just let him finish?” Maurice interrupted. “We’ll explain the details later!”

“Sorry,” Private said, clearing his throat and blushing slightly. “Carry on.”

Julien nodded and resumed waving the puppets, this time holding up the one with the crown. “So, Queen Julienne, ruler of the lemurs and all-round awesome, never found out that the little princess wasn’t happy. She might have found out some time, but sadly there was an incident with the fossa. Which was a little bit good because it meant she didn’t find out, but still mostly bad because, well, obviously.” He looked at the puppet, sniffled, and hugged it, whispering “I miss you, Mommy.”

“Waaaaiit ...” Skipper held up a flipper, the metaphorical penny dropping. “Are you saying that ...”

“Mm-hm.” Julien hugged the puppets tighter and turned his face away. Maurice stood up and rested a paw on the king’s shoulder.

“Your majesty, I think I should explain a bit more of the details. I don’t think you’re up to it right now,” he said quietly.

“No need, I think I understand,” said Kowalski slowly. “Are you telling us that Julien is ...”

“Well, if you’re talking strictly biology ... this isn’t really accurate, but ...” Maurice took a deep breath, let it out, and finished “Yes. To put it as simply as possible, let’s say yes. He was a girl.”


	3. Chapter 3

There was an extremely long, awkward silence during which the penguins stared at Maurice, Julien stared at the ground, and Mort gazed obliviously into the distance as usual.

“G-girl? But ... How ... What ...?” Private stuttered.

“See, this is why I did not want to be telling,” Julien grumbled.

“But ... why?” Kowalski asked, with an expression of utter bemusement.

“I don’t know why!” Julien snapped. “I don’t have to know why! I am the king, since when do I have to think about what I do?”

“Well, uh, this probably requires more thought than what you usually do.”

“I did think about it! I spent years thinking about it and I still don’t know why! I don’t care why!” Julien’s voice rose sharply in pitch, and he clasped a paw over his mouth. “See what you made me do? Now I’m going back to my girly voice! I practised for ever to get rid of that! Maurice, make them stop making me do that! I don’t want to sound squeaky again!”

“Relax, your majesty, you’re just panicking. Just calm down and it’ll stop. ‘Sides, nobody’s voice sounds squeaky next to Mort’s.”

“Yay, I’m helping!” Mort giggled, and grinned smugly at the penguins. “Are you helping?”

“We would if we understood what was going on!” Skipper raised his flippers. “Alright, so you, Julien, are ... what, pretending to be male? All the time we’ve known you, you’ve been faking it?”

“I am not faking!” Julien snarled. Skipper blinked and Private squeaked in surprise; Julien had always been moody and stroppy, but they hadn’t often seen him this angry.

“But you have the ... whatever it is female mammals have that makes them different from male mammals?”

“Well, yes, except for the brain things in the head part,” Julien said, gesturing towards his ear to demonstrate. Now he’d regained a little control, his male voice was back.

Kowalski shook his head. “No, no, this is highly illogical! If you’re supposed to have a female ruler, why would you try to appear male?”

Julien covered his face and made a quiet choking noise. Maurice hugged him and scowled at Kowalski. “Well, that should prove he-“

“She,” Skipper corrected him helpfully.

“He,” Maurice said firmly, “is serious about this. Why would he cause such a problem for himself if he didn’t mean it? He doesn’t enjoy attention that much!”

“Oh, I do,” Julien piped up, taking his face out of his paws. “But not that kind of attention.”

“Look, your majesty, I think you should go to bed. I’ll handle this, okay?” Maurice said, patting the ringtail’s shoulder. “It’ll all be okay, just go get some sleep.”

“Okay.” Julien hopped off the platform onto the bouncy and curled up.

Private leaned over to watch Julien. He couldn’t be sure, but it looked like the king – or queen – might be crying. “Is she-“

“He!”

“-okay? I mean, I knew Julien was a bit funny, but ...”

“Look, I know it sounds stupid, but ... okay, I’ll try and explain better, I don’t think I’m doing this right.” Maurice sat down and continued. “Technically, we are supposed to have a queen, not a king. We can have a king if there are no girls left to inherit, but everyone thought everything would just work as usual with Julien. I’ve known him since we were kids, my parents worked for his mom and I’ve been his right-paw man and babysitter since he could talk. I thought he – well, she at that point – was kind of a weird kid, but I didn’t figure it out for a while. Actually I didn’t figure it out, he told me. I reacted pretty much the same as you did at first, but he was really upset, so I played along for a while, and I saw that he really did want to be a guy. I thought he made a darn good one, too.”

The penguins stared blankly at him again. “’Darn good guy’? He dresses up in floral skirts and pink flamingo feathers!” Skipper spluttered.

“And you didn’t suspect that meant he wasn’t a guy,” Maurice said smugly. “He gets a kick out of that, he likes to know he’s convincing. ‘Sides, he got me to wear a skirt too that time and that doesn’t make me a girl.”

“Okay, so if they’re so keen on the ladies being in charge, how’d the other lemurs take it?” Skipper asked.

“I question nothing!” Mort said proudly.

Maurice ignored him. “They weren’t happy at first, but ... Well, he didn’t come out till after his mother, uh, passed on the crown to him. Or just passed on. We’d tried to explain to a couple of friends, but most of ‘em didn’t get it, so he figured his only chance was the all-or-nothing way. So he waited till after the coronation was over and everyone was all excited, and then he announced that he couldn’t rule as queen. He’d take the crown, but only if he could rule and be treated as a king. That didn’t go down too well, but he had no living sisters or cousins to take over. I persuaded everyone to just go along with it, we made a slight adjustment to his name, and eventually everyone sort of forgot there was anything unusual about it. So yes, he’s shaped like a girl and sometimes he dresses up like a girl. But as far as he’s concerned, he’s a guy, and if that’s enough for him it’s good enough for me.”

“How come we didn’t notice until now?”

Maurice laughed harshly. “With all due respect, Skipper, Marlene told me about the DNA test thing. If you can’t tell whether you’re male, how d’you expect to tell with someone else?”

“He has a point there, Skipper,” Private said reasonably.

“Hey!” Skipper looked indignantly at the others for support, but they merely shrugged. “Fine. We’ll leave you to deal with her-“

“HIM!” Maurice snapped. “He’s still a he!”

“O-kaaay ... we’ll leave you to deal with ... the problem.” The four penguins hopped off the platform and exited the habitat, leaving Maurice and Mort to their own devices.

“Well, that was weird,” Private commented.

“Indeed, Private, indeed,” Kowalski said with a nod.

“Yup,” Rico grunted.

“Kowalski, options?”

“I recommend we sleep on it and talk to Julien in the morning. I don’t know what’s going on with him ... or possibly her ... but maybe if he’s calmed down ...”

Unseen by the penguins, a tiny yellow figure peered down from the wall at the sleeping lemurs, then hopped onto the path and waddled away.


	4. Chapter 4

“Your Majesty?”

Julien yawned widely. “Oh, good morning, Maurice, Mort. So did it go well last night?”

“Well, the good news is it didn’t go any worse than back home. The bad news is, it didn’t go any better, but then I sort of expected that.”

Julien pouted. “Oh well, it’s their problem. They will be coming round eventually.”

“The really bad news is, Momma Duck wants to talk to you about Eggy.”

Julien perked up and hopped out of the bouncy to greet the stern-looking mother duck. “Momma Duck! Tell me, how is my JJ being?”

“Eggy is fine,” Momma Duck said, pushing the duckling in question forward. “But I’d like to talk to you about him. Last night he couldn’t sleep and got out of the nest to see you. I found him outside your habitat, but I didn’t think there was a problem until this morning.”

“Why, what happened this morning?”

“The ducklings were talking about what they were going to do when they grew up. Eggy said he wants to grow up to be a girl, because he heard Maurice say you grew up to be a boy. I told him not to be silly because you were always a boy, but he insists that Maurice said you weren’t.”

“Uh, aheh-he. Tell me, JJ, is this being true?”

“Yessir,” Eggy mumbled, looking at his feet. “I heard Maurice talking and he said you used to be a girl and Momma said I’m bein’ silly.”

Julien ruffled Eggy’s head feathers and tutted. “No, no. It is Maurice who was being silly, and I shall tell him not to be making up lies anymore. Now-“

Maurice yanked Julien down and hissed in his ear “Are you really sure lying is a good idea?”

“Yes,” Julien said firmly.

“And what happens next time someone overhears something off?”

“I can lie again!”

“What kind of example is that to set to the kid?”

Julien considered this. He knew, of course, that “JJ” wasn’t his and he couldn’t keep him – he wasn’t that much of a ditz – but he really had grown to love the little duck like a nephew. If he’d ever been a father ... if he could have been a father, of course ... but there was no point dwelling on that.

“Do you really think so?” he asked worriedly.

“I know so. It’s up to you, your majesty, but I’d say you should tell them the truth.”

Julien looked serious for once. “Hm. Maurice, what are the chances of someone else finding out?”

“Probably pretty high, now that the penguins have found out. I don’t think they’d mean to tell anyone, but they might let something slip by mistake, or we might just forget a detail which someone else picks up on.” Maurice shrugged apologetically.

“Very well, I have made my decision,” Julien said aloud, pulling away from Maurice. “Momma Duck, bring all your little ones to the Zoovenir Shop this evening after closing, and I shall be explaining to everyone. Maurice, you and Mort tell everyone else to come along.”

“Wait, what?” Maurice gasped. “Are you sure-“

“The king is always sure, Maurice. Be doing it now, thank you,” Julien said, waving dismissively. Maurice nodded and hopped back onto the bouncy.

“Mort! Time to get up, Julien needs us to announce a meeting ...”

“So,” Julien said, keeping a practiced smile on his face. “We shall be seeing you later, then?”

Momma Duck blinked. “Well, if you’re sure. After closing, then, sir.” She and the ducklings waddled off, Eggy pausing to wave goodbye.

“Sir. Huh,” Julien muttered dully to himself. He turned on the boombox, draped himself on his throne, and sang along sadly to the strains of The Who. It wasn’t his favourite type of music, but this particular song felt appropriate.

“One little girl was called Jean-Marie,  
Another little girl was Felicity,  
Another little girl was Sally Joy,  
The other was me, and I’m a boy ...”


	5. Chapter 5

Looking back on it later, Julien figured he should have been suspicious when Rico and Private showed up at his habitat shortly after closing time with flowers. Pink ones.

“Oooh! Thanking you, penguins!” he said, taking the flowers. “Very pretty.”

“We wanted to apologise for upsetting you last night,” Private explained, shuffling his feet. “We didn’t realise.”

“Oh, it’s no problem.” Julien plucked one of the flowers from the bunch and twisted the stem into the leaves of his crown, then started weaving the others around the slats of his throne. “Ah, just like back in Madagascar. Remember? We had flowers everywhere, all the time, not like here where it’s cold ...” Julien sighed nostalgically.

“Yup,” sighed Rico happily, remembering the penguins’s sojourn in Madagascar.

“Your majesty, it’s time to be going,” Maurice called from on top of the habitat wall. Mort, standing beside him, waved.

“Ooh! Do you want me to get the door for you?” Private offered.

Julien looked at him strangely. “What door? I wasn’t going to use the door.”

“Oh. Sorry,” Private giggled. “Automatic reaction, you know.” Rico nodded and bowed as elegantly as a penguin can, and the two penguins followed the lemurs out over the wall.

As they headed for the Zoovenir Shop, Julien happily commented to Maurice “Well, looks like the silly penguins are finally treating me with the respect becoming of a king, yes?”

“Uh, are you sure that’s what it is?” asked Maurice, pointing at the pink flower in Julien’s crown.

“Of course! What else could it be?”

“I ... don’t know,” Maurice said, deciding now wasn’t the time to explain. Julien would work it out on his own later.

They arrived at the Zoovenir shop to find the usual crowd. Some were missing – Joey and Pinky weren’t there, and only one of the three baboons had shown up. The zoo-dwellers had got so used to Julien’s bizarre decrees that they thought nothing of his “very important announcement”. Some had shown up out of curiosity, or just to humour Julien’s latest whim.

“Thanking you all for coming, everybody!” Julien shouted, causing the conversation to die down. “Now I’m sure you’re all wondering why I’ve called you here for my very important announcement ...”

Marlene raised a paw. “Let me guess. Is this about your feet again?”

“Uh, think a bit higher up.”

“You’re still wearing your crown.”

“Lower.”

“You’re hungry?”

“Bit lower.”

“I don’t wanna hear any more about your butt.”

“Further forward.”

“EW!” Marlene yelped, and slapped him.

“Not like that!” Julien rubbed his cheek, hopped onto the picnic table so everyone could see him, and drew himself up. “This is an important announcement I am announcing! I want you all to know that I ... I ...”

For once in his life, Julien found himself speechless. Everyone he knew was staring raptly at him, waiting to see what the heck he’d come out with this time. Everyone he knew ... Would they still feel they knew him after this? It hadn’t been so difficult back home, where everyone had already known about Princess Julienne. They’d seen the contrast between the odd, awkward little princess and the happy, confident king. Besides, lemurs weren’t known for overthinking an issue; if he said he was male, they’d agree, and nobody had reason to complain.

“I ...” He took a deep breath. “Well, you are seeing, when Maurice introduced me as ‘self-proclaimed lord of the lemurs’, the ‘self-proclaimed’ part was ... not really referring to the title so much as, uh, the ... implied ... gender. Aheh.”

The crowd stared blankly. Julien searched for a better way to explain.

“Well, see, I am thinking the sky spirits were making a little mistake when I was born. No offence, sky spirits,” he said, glancing up and waving. “But, attractive and good at dancing as my body is, there is one way I think it doesn’t quite ... fit me. Erm. It ... is missing something.” Julien glanced downwards at himself, then back up at his audience, who continued staring in confusion until Marlene broke the silence.

“Wait, Julien, you’re saying ... you’re a girl?!”

Julien remained silent for a long time, then made a quiet affirmative squeak and nodded.

Marlene blinked, then burst out laughing. “Ha! That’s a good one! Next thing you’ll be telling me Mort’s really twenty-five.”

“Uh, well, actually, funny you should say that ...” Maurice shuffled awkwardly.

“I’m thirty-five!” Mort piped up indignantly.

Marlene stared at the lemurs. Maurice nodded.

“Ewwww! You disgusting little pervert!” Marlene sprang at Mort, who fled. She ran after him, yelling “I hugged you, you lying little monster! I thought you were a kid and I hugged you!”

“Hey, leave him alone!” Maurice told her sternly, grabbing her to hold her back.

She snarled at Mort and made a last half-hearted grab at him as he hid in the hedge. “Fine, but if he ever tries to pull the cute routine on me again I’m gonna flush him down the toilet!”

Everyone else tried to hide their laughter. Rico stared at Mort, then at Maurice. “Uh ...?”

“Yeah, mouse lemurs look like bug-eyed beanbags however old they get. I think going through puberty alongside the taller kids hit him hard. But that’s not the point, we came here to talk about Julien,” Maurice reminded them.

“Ahem. Yes, can everyone start paying attention to me again?” Julien said sternly.

Everyone stared at him. Barry the frog blinked. “So, uh, you’re a girl. How’s that working out?”

“Oh yeah ...” Julien shrank back. “Maurice, can I ask them all to stop paying attention to me now?”

“Sorry, your majesty, you wanted to tell them. Don’t worry, it’ll all be over soon,” Maurice said soothingly, patting Julien’s paw.

“Okay,” Julien sighed. “Okay. Yes, I am, in fact, technically, just a little bit ... female. There, I said it. I wanted to tell you all today because some of you-” he gestured to Eggy and the penguins, “-have already found out, and so I thought I should get it over with before anyone else did.”

Burt raised his trunk. “Wait, I’ve seen you go to the bathroom and-“

“Uh, yeah, that wasn’t what you were thinking it was.” Julien scratched the back of his neck nervously and glanced at Maurice for support, then gestured in the direction of his groin. “Female lemurs have a thing that looks like a ... thing ... but isn’t the same as one. But they don’t have the ... other things, and they do have the ... girl things.” He tapped his armpit. “I don’t have the scent glands here, see?”

“Are male lemurs supposed to have scent glands there?” asked Roger sceptically. “’Cos, you know, I’m not an expert on mammals.”

“Yes.” Julien held out his paws. “I don’t have the spurs either. The boys have little claws on their arms, about here.” He pointed to a spot above his wrist. The crowd still looked sceptical. Bing scratched his head and Bada shrugged. Roy tilted his head, as if seeing Julien from a different angle would help confirm his story.

Kowalski held up a test tube holding a few strands of lemur fur floating in water. “I’m afraid it’s true. I ran his DNA sample through a few tests.”

“Check it again!” Marlene protested. “We all know what happened last time you trusted a DNA test.”

“I did. Seventeen times. It’s definite,” Kowalski said, nodding to Julien. “Ma’am.”

Understandably, there was uproar. Everyone talked at once, gasping or laughing or shouting to make themselves heard. Julien, for once not pleased to be the centre of attention, shrank down and tried to hide under his crown.

“YAAAAY!”

Julien jumped as Becky and Stacey popped up and grabbed him.

“Like, this is soooo awesome!” Becky squealed. “We have another girl in the zoo!”

“What?! No! No you are not having another girl!”

“This is soooooo great!” babbled Stacey, hopping on the spot. “C’mon, let’s do her fur!”

“Paint her nails!”

“Braid her tail!”

“SPONTANEOUS MAKEOVER!” the badgers squeaked in unison.

“Okay, can I have gold glitter- wait, what am I saying?!” Julien slapped his forehead. “Makeovers are all fine and good but I AM NOT A GIRL!”

Becky snorted. “Like, duh! You just said you are.”

“Yeah. Make up your mind!” Stacey agreed.

“I can be female and not be a girl! Subtle difference!”

The badgers stared blankly, as did everyone else. “O-kaaay ...”

“I mean I don’t want to be a girl!”

“Of course not!” said Skipper, scuttling to Julien’s side. “There’s no need to be so insulting, people!”

Julien sighed with relief. “See, the bossy penguin is understanding-“

“What is she, five years old? Julien’s a fine mature woman!”

Julien sagged and sighed “See, I think you are missing my point here.”

“What? Oh, yeah, sorry – I forgot women are so touchy about their age ...”

“If it wasn’t such a girly thing to do I would be slapping you right now.”

“What? What’d I do?” Skipper blinked in complete confusion.

Barry looked puzzled. “So if you want to be a guy, can’t you just switch to being one? We had some frogs over in Hoboken who-”

“Uh, mammals can’t do that, Barry,” Mason the chimp pointed out.

“Really? Huh. Sorry, I just thought it was worth a try,” Barry said with a shrug.

“Look, peoples, can you please try and be understanding?” Julien asked plaintively. “This is harder than it sounds! I almost didn’t get the crown because only lemur girls are supposed to rule! If I’d had a sister I’d have lost the kingship, I was just the nearest thing to a girl heir the tribe had.”

“Oh, I see!” said Mason. “And all this time you’ve been so smug because you’re glad you ‘beat the system’, as it were?” Phil nodded.

“Uh, no, he was always like that,” Maurice interrupted. “Comes with being royalty.”

“Well, yes,” Julien said. “This does not define everything I do, you know.”

“See, see, Momma! I told you he was a girl! I told you!” Eggy cheered, hopping up and down with the joy of a small child who’s outsmarted his parent.

Momma Duck sighed. “Sir ... ma’am? You’re confusing my son.”

“Sounds like you are the one who is confused, Momma Duck,” Julien commented sourly. “It is to stay being ‘sir’, understand?”

“Very well, ‘sir’,” said Momma Duck, the tone of her voice suggesting she was humouring him. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t play this game around my son. I’ve already had to persuade him he’s not going to grow up to be a penguin or a lemur, I don’t need him being convinced he’s going to be a girl as well.”

“Momma Duck, I assure you this is not a game,” Julien said, sounding hurt. “And that makes no sense – why would JJ be thinking he is a girl from playing with me? Playing with other pups never made me think I was a girl!”

Momma Duck sighed and shook her head, then started to herd the ducklings away. “Come on, kids, I don’t think you should be playing with him for a while.”

“But why, Momma?” asked Eggy, looking sadly back at Julien.

“He – or she – is a bit confused, I think. She needs time to sort herself out.”

The ducklings got in line and waddled away, hurrying to keep up with their mother, Eggy glancing back over his shoulder as he went. Julien tried to run after them, but Maurice held him back.

“No, let them go. I’ll talk to her later, okay?” he said. “If you chase after her you’ll only make her uncomfortable. Just let the information sink in for a while.”

“JJ ...” Julien whimpered plaintively.

“It’s okay, Julien, it’s okay. He’ll be back.”

Julien smiled weakly. “Thank you, Maurice. I hope you’re right.” He looked back up to see Marlene approaching him, hackles raised. As usual, he disregarded the obvious body language, which was a mistake. “Marlene! Good to see you are still being my friend-“

“Are the ducks out of sight?”

Julien raised an eyebrow. “Uh, yes. Why?”

“Because I don’t want the kids to see what I’m about to do,” Marlene said through gritted teeth.

“Why, what-“

Marlene’s paw connected at high speed with Julien’s face. Not the fairly gentle “stop being disgusting” slap she’d given him earlier, but a real roundhouse blow that knocked him off his feet.

“I can’t believe you!” she yelled. “Those times you hit on me were, what, trying to make yourself look more male? I’m not one of your ‘girlfriends in Canada’!”

“What? No!”

“And you had the gall to lie to me about me coming on to you when I went feral that time-“

“Uh, actually, Marlene, you did do that,” Kowalski interrupted.

“What? No way!” Marlene snapped at him.

“Sorry, I’m afraid you did,” said Private. Skipper and Rico nodded.

“Really? Oh, oh my gosh, what does that mean? Does that make me ... Not that I think that’s bad, but I don’t wanna be ... I never thought I was ...” Marlene hyperventilated, clutching her head. She stumbled off towards her habitat, not looking back at Julien. “I ... I think I need some time alone.”

Julien picked up his crown and shook himself, realising that everyone was glaring at him.

“Oh, very well done, Julien,” said Mason. “While I do have sympathy for your plight, there was no need to upset Marlene.”

“I upset – I upset Marlene?! She punched me!” Julien spluttered.

“Well, of course she’s upset; you lied to her!” Private said, sounding scandalised. “You lied to all of us! I know this is a difficult thing for you, but you shouldn’t lie to your friends.”

“I never lied! I just ... neglected to tell you I have a little problem! You never asked!”

“You told us you were a guy!” Becky said.

“I am!” Julien sobbed, and choked on his words. “I am.”

Before anyone else could say anything, Julien turned and fled to the safety of his own habitat, leaping the wall at record speed and huddling behind the bouncy. He tore the pink flower from his crown and stomped it into the ground, truly wishing for the first time in his life that he was someone, anyone, other than King Julien.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, *you* try coming up with a character-appropriate alternative for the word "pseudopenis".


	6. Chapter 6

“Princess? Your highness, are you here?” Maurice parted the bushes to find the tiny princess sitting by the banks of the pond, staring at her reflection. This wasn’t unusual; the princess was notoriously vain even for lemur royalty, spending hours grooming herself or making new crowns out of flowers. “Your highness, get away from there! There might be crocodiles in there!” The part of the pond where Julienne was sitting was actually only two inches deep, but to the eyes of a very young aye-aye it seemed deep enough to hide all manner of monsters.

Julienne glanced up. “Oh! Maurice! Hello.”

“Your highness, what are you doing here? You’re not supposed to wander off alone, my mom’ll kill me for letting you!” Julienne ignored Maurice and resumed staring into the pond. Maurice blinked. “Uh, Princess?”

“Maurice, am I ugly?” There was no sadness in Julienne’s voice, just curiosity.

“What? No, Princess, no! Of course not! Why would you think that?”

“I don’t know. I look and my eyes are telling me I am pretty, but I am not feeling pretty.” Julienne peered at her reflection in the pool, tilting her head. “Everyone says I am pretty. Am I really pretty, or are they just saying that because my Mommy is queen and I will tell her if they say I am not pretty?”

“Would you tell her if someone said you weren’t pretty?”

Julienne blinked. “Of course. I am the princess, I am not to be spoken to that way. Mommy said so.”

“Heh.” Maurice sat beside the princess. “Trust me, nobody’s gonna be saying that any time soon. You’re pretty.”

“So why am I not feeling pretty?”

“I don’t know! I’m a boy, what do I know about being pretty?”

Julienne’s eyes widened and she mused on this, chewing her lip. Seeing the princess actually thinking was quite unusual, and Maurice found himself staring until Julienne broke the silence.

“What is it like, being a boy?”

“Uh ... I don’t know. Not much different from being a girl, I think, except you don’t have to giggle as much.”

“If I stop giggling, can I be a boy? Just to try it?”

“Sorry, I don’t think it works that way.”

“Oh.” Julienne sighed. “Um. Can I tell you something?”

“It’s what I’m here for.”

“Y-yesterday two of the big boys got in a fight and one got his face all scratched up and the other’s mommy told him to be careful with his spurs. I asked Mommy when my spurs would be coming in, and sh-she said ... never. ‘Cos only boys are ever getting them.” Julienne broke into sobs and clung to Maurice. “I hate boys! I hate them, they get to do all the cool stuff I don’t! It’s not FAIR!”

Maurice awkwardly hugged the weeping pup, unsure what to say. “Uhh ... the guys said they were gonna go play later. Wanna come?”

“M-Mommy says it is not ladylike to spend all my time playing with boys.”

“Screw ladylike! You need cheering up.”

Julienne looked down at Maurice and smiled. He was a little older, but she was already a head taller than him. She smiled through her tears and mumbled “Um, when I said I hate boys, I was not meaning you.”

“Hehe. I know. It’s okay ...”

~

“Princess Julienne, I am shocked!”

“I know, Mommy, ‘m sorry, Mommy.” Twelve-year-old Julienne shuffled her feet, rubbing at the deep scratches on her face and neck. Antoine, a burly sifaka about the princess’s age, nursed a black eye and glared bitterly at her. The tribe stood quietly in the background, watching the troublemakers receive their punishment. Queen Julienne the Twelfth, a tall graceful ringtail, loomed over her daughter and their subject, glaring sternly as only a lemur queen can.

“What were you thinking, picking fights with boys? Are you not understanding the traditions of our peoples? Boys fight each other to prove themselves to the girls, not the other way around!”

“But Mommy,” whined Julienne, “I said I’d go to the dance with him if he could beat me and he said it was okay!”

“And that’s another thing!” the queen contined lecturing the princess. “If you are going to be picking fights with boys, at least make sure you are winning! We are royalty, we do not let commoners defeat us!”

“Yes, Mommy.” Julienne sniffled.

“And you, Antoine, you should be knowing better than to fight with a princess!” the queen shouted, turning on the unfortunate boy in question, who cowered and glanced towards his own mother, who was standing in the front row of the crowd. She shook her head and gestured towards Queen Julienne, who had built up a good head of steam and didn’t look like she was going to stop shouting any time soon.

Much lecturing later, the young lemurs were allowed to escape. Julienne turned hopefully to Antoine. “So, uh, are we still going to the dance?”

“Oh. Uh. Actually, I think I’m gonna ask Stephanie,” Antoine mumbled, backing away.

“What? Why? We had an understanding!” Julienne’s eyes filled with tears again.

“You’re, uh, making me uncomfortable, your highness.”

“But why?”

Antoine’s temper snapped. “Because you’re creepy, okay?! You’re weird and you’re a bossy spoilt jerk! And, and ... and your butt’s so flat you look like a boy!” he yelled, then realised what he’d said and shrank away, covering his head with his forearms.

Julienne twisted round to look at her bottom, then turned back to Antoine, eyes gleaming with happy tears. “Y-you mean that?”

Next day, the sun rose into a cloudless blue sky. It was uncomfortably hot in the morning, but after dusk it would be perfect weather for the dance. The beauty of the day was lost on Antoine, however, who was staring wide-eyed at the pretty indri Stephanie.

“What do you mean, you’ve already got a date for the dance? Who is it? I’ll kill him!”

“Uh, actually it’s Princess Julienne.”

“Wait, what?! B-but ... she’s a girl!”

“I know, but she did beat you so officially she’s got first dibs, and she’s a lot more of a gentleman than you are!”

Julienne leaned down from the branches of a nearby tree and grinned smugly at Antoine.

~

Maurice was woken by loud sobbing. He recognised the princess’s voice and immediately ran to investigate, wondering if she was hurt.

He found Julienne alone and apparently safe and unhurt. She was perched in the branches of a tree, rocking back and forth, hugging herself, and crying harder than he’d ever seen before. She wasn’t wearing her flower crown. As he edged closer to her on the branch, Maurice saw she’d scratched at her wrists and underarms until large patches of fur had come out. It must be serious if the narcissistic princess had damaged her own pelt like that ...

She glanced up as he approached. “Maurice? P-please go away. I am not wanting to be seen like this.”

“Princess?”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!” Julienne shrieked, startling several birds awake. The leaves rustled as the flock took flight. Maurice backed away. Julienne buried her face in her paws and wept harder.

“I-I’m sorry,” Maurice said, stunned. “Should I go away now?”

“... No, it is alright,” Julienne coughed. “Sorry I yelled, it’s not your fault.”

“Okay, now I know something’s wrong. You never apologise!” Maurice rested a paw on Julien’s shoulder. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I do, but you won’t be understanding.”

“Try me. It’s what I’m here for.”

“How can you be understanding when I cannot?” Julienne cried. “I feel ... wrong! Everything is wrong! I don’t know, I am not knowing the words.”

Maurice sat beside Julienne and let her hug him, not complaining when she fiddled nervously with his tailfur. “I’m sorry. How long has this been going on?”

“F-for as long as I can remember, really. It just feels worse now.” Julienne shuffled awkwardly on the branch. “I try to be a lady like a princess should and it’s fun a lot of the times, but it always feels like acting. Pretending. Disguise. Wrong.”

“Um. In what way?”

Julienne took a deep breath. “Are you remembering when we were little and I said I wanted to try being a boy?”

“Huh? Oh, yes, that time ... what about it?”

“I ... I still want to.”

There was silence. Maurice tried to let this information sink in. Too stunned to really grasp the concept, he tried to mentally break it down. “Why?” he said finally. “If you were a boy you’d lose the crown, and you’re the only heir!”

“I know!” Julienne sobbed. “I know. But I can’t be a girl any more! I can’t!”

“But what’s so bad about being a girl? I mean ... well ... you are one.”

“No I’m not!” Julien pushed Maurice away and curled up, hugging his own tail. “How would you like it if everyone was always acting like you were a girl? It’s so humiliating!” He rubbed gently at the sore patches on his arms. “I had another dream where I was a boy. I have dreams like that all the time. I woke up and saw I was still just me and I felt sick. I came up here and I just felt so ... ugly. I saw where my scent glands should be and they aren’t and I just scratched until it hurt and that made me feel worse.”

Maurice’s heart ached to see the princess so miserable. Julienne had always been weird, but usually she seemed so happy and upbeat. “Okay, okay,” he sighed. “I don’t understand why you’d want this, but I will try to act like you’re a guy and see how it goes. If we’re doing this, I think you might need to adjust your name a bit, but ‘Julien’ doesn’t sound that much different so I don’t think anyone will notice if I call you that. Sound okay?”

Julien’s face lit up and she ... he ... wrapped his arms tightly around Maurice, bursting into tears again. This time, they were tears of joy. Despite Maurice’s initial expectations, the hugging and weeping didn’t feel like feminine actions; merely intensely emotional and fundamentally Julien-like. “Thanking you, Maurice! So much!”

“It’s okay, pr- ... Prince.”


	7. Chapter 7

“What the heck is that noise?” Skipper peered over the wall to see Mort scurrying along the path, yelling at the top of his lungs, being pursued by Julien, who was wielding a pair of scissors. Maurice was running behind them, trying to catch Julien and failing.

“Come on, Mort, do not be the crybaby, it will only be hurting for a second!”

“I don’t like having bits cut off me!” wailed Mort.

“Hey, Ringtail, did nobody ever teach you not to run with scissors?”

Julien stopped, grinned innocently, and held up the scissors. “Well, since I don’t have-“

“Scratch that, I get the picture. And I wish I didn’t!” Skipper shuddered. “I could have told you mammals keeping ’em outside was a bad evolutionary move.”

Julien was about to run after Mort again, but Maurice grabbed his paw. “Your Majesty, that really, really ain’t gonna work.”

“Sure it will, I have the Superglue-“

“Biology doesn’t work that way!” Maurice hissed urgently.

“Really? Oh. Oh well, plan B.” Julien hopped onto the wall of the baboon habitat and called sweetly “Oh, Daaar-laaa!”

“Huh?” the blonde baboon asked, looking up at him. “Oh, it’s you. Geez, I’m sorry I missed your meeting, the gals told me about it. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Why yes, there is indeed, Darla my darling! Could you be doing the witchy magic stuff to make me all-the-way male?”

“Sorry, hon. Backwoods magic is better with the intangible stuff, y’see.” Darla tapped her chin. “Theerrree ... might be somethin’ I can do, but I’m not sure-“

“Do it please do it please do it please!” Julien babbled, leaping at her, clutching her shoulders, and staring into her eyes. “Anything is better than this!”

“Well, I don’t know if it’ll work, but I could try to make it so you don’t want to be a guy anymore.”

Julien let go and dropped to the ground. “Uh ... would that help?”

“Well, if you learn to like being a girl ...” Darla said with a shrug.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I want to do that,” Julien said, looking at the ground and twiddling his fingers. “I spent long enough trying to be a guy, I don’t want to suddenly change to being a girl.”

“Okay, but you know where I am if you change your mind.”

“Yeah. Thanking you,” Julien said with a nod, jumping back onto the path and heading for home.

Skipper hopped down in front of him. “Hey, wait, your majesty, I have something I need to say.” He took Julien’s paw and bowed. “I’d like to apologise for the times I hit you. I have never knowingly struck a lady-“

Julien told him to do something that, considering certain biological facts, was actually impossible. Kowalski gasped, Private covered his ears, and Rico sniggered. Skipper blinked and said “Well, that’s not very ladylike.”

“Good.”

“Now, Julien, being confused is one thing, but there’s no need to be rude as well,” said Private in a maddeningly reasonable tone. Julien twitched with the suppressed desire to hit something; Mort, sadly, was not within reach. He sighed.

“That’s it. I am not talking to you penguins. Begone.” He hopped onto the wall of Marlene’s habitat and ostentatiously turned his back on the penguins. Unfortunately, this resulted in him coming face to face with Marlene. She did not look to have forgiven him over the course of the previous night.

“What are you doing here?”

“Um-“

“Did you somehow miss that I don’t want to talk to you?”

“I-“

“Out! Get out of my habitat!” Marlene shouted, waving her paws in Julien’s direction, causing him to lean backwards far enough to fall off the wall. He caught himself and landed with the grace only a lemur could manage. Marlene glared down at him from the wall. “Go away and find some other poor sap to drag into your silly little games. Girlfriend.” Julien flinched as the last word stung like a knife. She turned on her heel and dropped back into the water with a loud splash; a splash carefully calculated to drown out the sobs that were starting to escape her throat, though Julien didn’t realise this.

Skipper sighed. “C’mon, boys, I think she needs to be alone right now. And so does Marlene.”

Julien looked up, spluttering indignantly, and struggled to think of an appropriate comeback. He failed, and the penguins were rapidly disappearing back to their habitat, out of earshot. “Fine!” he shouted at the squads’ retreating backs, shaking his fist. “If you do not want to be understanding, I can deal! I shall handle this the way a king should – with dignity!”

Maurice and Mort found him an hour later, sitting in a huddle with his stuffed toy collection, boombox blaring, weeping into a half-empty tub of chocolate ice cream as big as his entire body. He covered his face and turned away.

“Do not be looking at me! I am feeling like such a girl!” Julien’s voice cracked, and he coughed. He held up the spoon sadly. “I really wanted strawberry but I couldn’t face the pink ... Oh, uh, sorry, Rosalita, I still love you, really!” he said, looking guiltily at his pink plush bunny.

“You need a hug!” Mort declared, and glomped Julien’s feet. Julien wasn’t so depressed that he didn’t have the strength to kick Mort off.

“It’s okay, your majesty. Every guy does this sometimes, it doesn’t make you any less of a man.”

“Do you ever do this?”

“Well, no, but if I’d been through what you have this past couple days I think I would.” Maurice sat next to Julien and wrapped a paw around his waist. “C’mon, your highness, it’ll all be okay,” he said soothingly, scratching Julien’s back the way he used to when they were pups.

“Nobody likes me,” Julien mumbled, pouting like a child and hugging Maurice, who ignored the ice cream now smeared over his back from Julien’s paws. They had bigger problems.

“They do like you, Julien, they’re just not sure how to react. Remember how I was when you told me you wanted me to start thinking of you as a guy? I got used to it, and so can they.”

The pause in the conversation allowed an unfortunate section of the boombox’s song to slip into the lemurs’ hearing.

“-never thought I’d let a rumour ruin my moonlight! Well, somebody told me that you had a boyfriend who looked like a girlfriend that I had in Feb-“

Julien kicked the boombox hard enough to leave him cursing and clutching his toes, then yanked the CD drawer open and hurled the disc away. There was a clunk and a yell of pain from the flamingo habitat, followed by loud swearing from Pinky.

“See, see? Even the flamingo does not like me!”

“Well, I’d say you just gave him a good reason.”

“Aha! Now you don’t like me!” Tears welled up in Julien’s eyes, and he pouted.

“Of course I like you! You’re like the baby sister I never-“

“SISTER?!”

“... That came out wrong.” Maurice shuffled backwards, away from the angry ringtail, raising his paws to protect his face. Julien raised a fist, but then looked at it in horror, as if the paw wasn’t under his control, and lowered it. He looked apologetically at Maurice.

“I ... I am thinking you and Mort had better be leaving.”

“W-what? Leave?” Maurice stammered.

“I don’t want to be hurting you!” Julien backed away, holding onto the wrist of his still-clenched fist with his other paw. “Please, just ... leave.” He curled up and started to sob into his tail, shrinking away when Maurice offered a comforting paw again. “Leave me alone.”

Maurice sighed and gathered up Mort on his way over the wall, turning back to glance sadly at his king. “Okay, Julien. Anything you want. Anything at all.”

~

“Hey, uh, Skipper?” Maurice knocked on the metal bowl covering the penguins’ hideout entrance. “I’d like to talk to you guys about Julien. I wasn’t gonna say anything, but you’ve upset him a lot.”

The bowl clunked aside and the four penguins popped out, looking irritable. “What?” Skipper asked. “She’s-“

“He’s!”

“-always upset about something!”

“I mean really upset. I haven’t seen him like this since he was little. I know the whole thing sounds weird to you, but would it kill you to at least pretend what he wants matters sometimes?”

Skipper rolled his eyes. “What are you, her mother?”

“No, but his mother’s last words were instructions to me to look after him.”

“Really?” Private asked.

“Well, technically her actual last words were aimed at the fossa and not repeatable in polite company, but her last words to me were ‘if anything happens to me, take care of my kid and tell the little airhead I love her’. But that’s beside the point. The point is he’s my responsibility, and if any of you upset him over this one more time, I swear I’ll rip your spines out and feed them to you!”

Far from being shocked or apologetic, Skipper looked impressed. “Huh. And they say chivalry is dead.”

“Aw, isn’t that romantic?” Private cooed.

“ARRGH!” Maurice stomped off, fuming.


	8. Chapter 8

“Julien? Julien!” Marlene called, hopping onto the wall of the lemur habitat. “I wanted to apologise. Are you busy?”

There was no reply. The otter sighed and twiddled her claws.

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I don’t really know what you’re thinking, or what you want from me, but there was no excuse for hitting you. You’re my friend, and I want you to be happy even if I don’t understand you, so I’m okay with calling you a guy if that’s what you want me to do. I still don’t want to date you, but I didn’t when I thought you were really male, so that doesn’t change much.” She chuckled drily. “Sorry. But we’re still friends, right?”

There was still no reply. Marlene scowled and jumped into the habitat. “I know I was out of line, but can you at least answer me when I talk? ... Julien! Julien, where are you? ... Uh-oh.”

Julien’s crown was hanging from the back of his throne. The lemur himself was nowhere to be seen.

“Maurice! Mort!”

The lemurs looked up from the bench they’d been napping on to see Marlene scurrying towards them, waving Julien’s crown.

“Huh?”

“He’s gone! I mean she’s gone! Argh! I mean Julien’s gone!”

“What?!” Maurice jumped up. “How could this happen? Dammit, I fell asleep, he must have got past us ... Mort, I thought you were watching the habitat!”

“I thought you were!” Mort protested.

Maurice groaned. “Okay, this is getting us nowhere – Marlene, are you sure he’s gone?” Marlene nodded, and Maurice paced up and down, yanking at his ears and hyperventilating. “Okay. Okay, everything’s gonna be fine ... penguins. We’ll talk to the penguins, they’ll know what to do ...”

The penguins were alerted in the middle of their morning coffee by Maurice and Marlene frantically pounding on the metal fishbowl. Skipper popped up too quickly and Marlene’s paw caught him in the eye.

“Ow! Marlene, what is it with you lately? Taken up boxing?”

“Sorry!” Marlene backed off and wrung her paws. “It’s an emergency. I went to apologise to Julien and he’s not there and we don’t know where she’s gone and you’ve gotta help us find him!”

The other penguins popped up and Maurice quickly related the story. Skipper paced up and down the habitat, flippers tucked neatly behind his back. “So Julien’s gone missing ... are you sure she’s actually missing?”

“He left his crown!” Maurice said, waving the object in question. “He’d never leave his crown behind unless he really meant it! I think he just couldn’t take it here anymore after ... you know.”

Skipper sighed. “Hm. I can’t help but feel this is partly our fault.”

Maurice’s fist moved nearly fast enough to take Skipper by surprise. He caught it on one flipper and deflected the blow fairly easily, but another punch came rapidly, and another, until Skipper was forced to back off. What Maurice lacked in training he made up for in speed and enraged effort.

“It’s ALL your fault!” Maurice shouted. “You were the ones who got him wound up, you stupid birds!”

“Hey, easy there- whoa!” Skipper fell backwards into the water, sank briefly, and bobbed to the surface like a cork. He jumped back onto dry land, only to have Maurice grab him by the flippers and glare into his eyes.

“You get out there, bring Julien back, and apologise to him, or I’ll ... I don’t know what I’ll do to you, but I swear it won’t be fun!”

~

Julien stomped down the street, unnoticed by the humans bustling overhead, kicking a pebble as he went. All that really did was make his foot hurt, but he continued to do it out of sheer frustrated, misdirected rage. He’d been wandering New York City since before dawn, and was too proud to admit he was completely lost. Not that it would have helped if he’d known where he was, as he had no idea where he intended to go, other than away from the zoo.

“I will be showing them ... they will be sorry ... I shall be proving myself!” He scowled at the ground. “Could my life be any worse?”

It promptly started to rain. Julien uttered some extremely impolite words and darted for the mouth of the nearest alleyway. As he curled up under the overhanging eaves of the building, his stomach growled. He hadn’t eaten anything since the ice cream the previous night.

Salvation arrived in the form of a tiny blonde girl with a McDonald’s bag, catching a glimpse of him and breaking away from her mother to investigate.

“Awwww, you poor little kitty!” The little girl crouched beside Julien, unwrapped her burger, and held it out. “Are you hungry?” Julien wasn’t hungry enough to eat the meat, but he picked the lettuce out and wiped the grease off it. It wasn’t bad, either. The little girl giggled. “Aw, thanks – Mommy makes me eat lettuce and my kitty at home never eats it for me.” She scratched his ears.

“I am not a kitty ... oooh, right there ...” Julien pushed his head up against the girl’s hand, purring quietly. “Okay, I will be the kitty.”

The child’s mother, a short round woman, peered into the mouth of the alley. “Mary, where are- eeeek! Get away from that thing!”

“Hi, Mommy! Look at the kitty!”

“That is not a kitty!” The mother swept up the child and started to walk briskly away. “That’s a raccoon and it’s going to give you rabies! Come on, let’s call animal control and get you to the hospital ...”

“I am not the raccoon either!” Julien yelled at the woman’s back. He sighed. “Oh well, free food.” He skulked back into the alleyway and curled up next to a trashcan, shivering as his wet fur caught the cold breeze. “How the mighty are falling ... stupid penguins and stupid Marlene and stupid sky spirits. Why do you hate me, sky spirits?”

Suddenly, a rattling noise from the trashcan made Julien jump. He pressed his back against the wall and raised his fists in a rather pathetic defensive stance. A striped yellow head peered up from inside the trashcan, blinked, and said “Do I know you?”

Julien shuffled away. “Stay away from me, very small tiger!”

“Hey, hey, calm down!” The cat jumped down, knocking over the trashcan, and extended his paws disarmingly. “My name’s Max. I think I’ve seen you at the zoo, I come over to see the penguins sometimes.”

“Oh? Oh yes, I remember.” Julien shook Max’s paw. “Nice to be meeting you, Max. I’m sure you are knowing who I am – King Julien the Thirteenth, self-proclaimed lord of the lemurs ... or, uh, I was.” He sagged. “I had to leave. I couldn’t stand it anymore.”

“Aw, geez, I’m sorry. Anything I can do to help?” Max gestured to the trash. “If you’re still hungry there’s plenty here.”

“I have not yet sunk so low as to eat out of trash- ooh, maggots! I retract my previous statement.” Julien sat down and gathered a pawful of squirming insects, tucking in gladly. Max joined him, finding the remains of a tuna sandwich.

“So why did you leave the zoo?” Max asked, licking his chops. “Seems like you got a pretty sweet gig there.”

“Um ...” Julien wondered whether to risk alienating his new friend, but decided that lying hadn’t helped in the zoo, and he’d better get it over with. He cleared his throat and, with some effort, dropped back into the husky feminine voice he hadn’t used since he took the crown. “Because of this.” He mentally cringed at the sound of his natural voice. It was creaky and unpracticed, and didn’t sound natural at all to him.

Max blinked and sniffed lightly at Julien. “Huh? Oh! Oh, is that it? Why’s that a problem?”

“What? You knew?!” Julien was so surprised he forgot to resume his male voice.

“About you specifically, no, not till you told me. But I’ve seen a few humans like that around. Well, smelled ‘em – I can’t really tell by looking. It’s pretty hard to tell even then, but there’s one or two I’ve seen around regularly and I figured it out. And I used to know this tomcat who’s ... well, not a tomcat now. I guess you know the basic story. Think they call it ‘transgender’ or something. I dunno, they seem to keep changing the words.”

Julien was stunned. “Humans ... swap?” He coughed and dropped his voice back down to his usual tone. “Really?”

“A few, yeah,” said Max with a shrug. “This is New York, ya get all types here.”

Julien’s lip trembled and he hugged himself, choking out “I thought I was being the only one.”

“Nah!” Max shook his head. “Probably a good thing you’re not a human, though. Some of them don’t react well to that kind of thing, and I’ve seen it kinda get nasty.” He winced. “You don’t wanna know the details.”

“It hasn’t been working out wonderfully for me either,” Julien said sulkily. A curious look from Max prompted him to open the floodgates and spill the whole story. By the time he finished, he was weeping silently.

Max patted Julien’s back. “I’m sorry. I can’t really say I know how you feel, but I’m sorry this happened to you.”

Julien sniffled. “Thanking you, Max. Thanking you.”


	9. Chapter 9

Before the zoo had opened, the zoo-dwellers had already been informed of the missing lemur. Shock ran through the zoo; despite their puzzlement and discomfort with his recently-revealed situation, none of the animals had wanted Julien to be hurt, especially not this badly. As the zoo was soon to open for the day, not many of them could leave to search, and most of them would be too conspicuous in the city to help much anyway, but Mason and Phil found a “Closed for Cleaning” sign that would free the penguins from their habitat for the day. Everyone agreed to keep watch in case Julien came back, and some of the more easily-concealed creatures offered to come and help search if Julien wasn’t back by closing time. The chameleons seemed particularly distressed and keen to help, as they liked Julien.

“Okay, everyone, you know what to do, we’ll be back before you know it!” Skipper saluted the surrounding creatures and patted Maurice’s shoulder. “Don’t worry too much, Maurice, we know this city like the backs of our flippers.”

“Indeed we do!” said Private proudly. “We’ll find her-“

Maurice grabbed Skipper’s flipper. “Okay. One thing. I appreciate your help, but if you find him, all that’ll happen at this rate is he’ll run away again. I’m not asking you to understand it or like it, but for the love of the sky spirits stop calling him a girl!”

Skipper took a step back. “Wow, you’re really serious about this ...”

“YES! Did you think this was just some stupid game he was playing?” Maurice shouted.

Skipper glanced around at the other zoo animals. All of them looked as if they wanted to say yes, but refrained from doing so out of respect of Maurice’s feelings.

Maurice sighed. “Yeah, fine, I admit he’s not the most ... mentally stable of people. But you know him, he doesn’t have the attention span to play a joke this complicated, and I can’t see any reason he would if he could! This hasn’t done anything for him except get Marlene mad at him and get you treating him like an idiot!”

“Correction; like more of an idiot than usual,” Kowalski said helpfully, then backed off under the force of Maurice and Marlene’s glares.

“Imagine how you’d like it if I started calling you parrots?”

“Uh, we’re not-“ Kowalski started to say.

“You sure? I see feathers, two legs, two wings, beak; close enough, right?” Maurice challenged Skipper, leaning close enough to him to make Skipper lean back.

“No!” spluttered Skipper. “That’s completely stupi-”

“Well, Julien doesn’t think you’re ‘close enough’ either!”

The penguins thought about this for a few seconds. Private was the first one who felt the concept click; his eyes widened and he murmured “Ooohhhh.”

“Ohh dear.” Kowalski rubbed nervously at the back of his head. “We really dropped the ball on this one, didn’t we?”

“Uh-huh,” Rico said with an embarrassed nod.

“Sorry, Maurice,” Private mumbled. “It’s just ... a very hard concept to grasp.”

Maurice’s anger subsided visibly. “Yeah, I know – I’ve had most of Julien’s life to think about it and I still sometimes have trouble. Think of it this way. You’re all guys, I’m a guy, Burt’s a guy, Roger’s a guy ... at the risk of sounding like that stupid kiddie show Private likes-“

“Leave the Lunacorns out of this, you philistine!”

Maurice ignored Private’s outburst. “-looking a bit different doesn’t make you less of a guy. Or if you look at Marlene and Momma Duck and the badgers, less of a girl.”

“Well, true, but Julien’s different in a rather more ... fundamental way,” Kowalski said, gesturing downwards.

“So he’s an unlucky guy. It’s not his fault, it’s not hurting anyone, and he doesn’t need anyone’s permission to be one if he wants to.” Maurice stood, paws on hips, jaw set firmly, waiting for someone to challenge his explanation.

“I think Maurice is right,” said Roger, breaking the thoughtful silence. “It’s not like he did this for fun or something.”

“Yeah,” said Roy. “Julien’s annoying, but he doesn’t deserve this. I feel kinda bad about how I reacted now.”

The badgers clutched each other and sniffled. “I’m so sorry!” wailed Becky. “We didn’t know we’d make him run away!”

Skipper tucked his flippers behind his back and cleared his throat. “You’re right, Maurice. I was wrong, and I hope we can make it up to you and her- him when we find him.”

“Finally! See, you penguins could have avoided this whole problem if you’d just accepted what he told you!” Maurice rubbed his forehead to ward off the oncoming headache. “Kowalski, can’t you just throw together one of your machines? You turned Skipper into a baby that time, why can’t you turn Julien into a male?”

“Well, it’s certainly possible,” mused Kowalski, “but I’m afraid I don’t really think it would be a good idea.”

“Why not?”

“Maurice, think about what will happen if our hairless overlords find that one of us has suddenly had their W chromosome switched for a Z,” Skipper pointed out. “They’ll start investigating! That could compromise our whole operation!”

“Don’t you mean their X for a Y?” Maurice asked, confused.

Both parties stared at each other in bafflement until Mason interrupted with “Ah, I think it’s different between mammals and birds.”

“Geez, alligators have it much simpler,” muttered Roger. “Pity Julien’s mother couldn’t just have kept him warmer and fixed everything that way ...”

“Oh. Well ...” Maurice sighed. “Either way, I guess you have a point. Sorry about that.”

“Besides, Kowalski’s machines tend to risk destroying the whole of civilisation, do you really want to trust parts of someone’s body to one of those?”

“I resent that, Skipper!” Kowalski snapped. “I’ve got the risk of destroying civilisation down to only forty-seven percent!” Rico snickered quietly, and Kowalski scowled at him. “Besides, all this is rather useless speculating since Julien’s not actually here. I suggest we focus on finding her- him first and worry about any non-vital organ configurations later.”

“Good point, Kowalski. Okay, everyone who’s staying here remember your instructions, everyone who’s going line up at the gates – c’mon, people, we have two minutes and counting till opening time!” Skipper ordered.

“Ma’am, are you sure you want to help us search?” Private asked, seeing Momma Duck’s ruffled feathers and hollow eyes. “You don’t look well at all.”

“Oh, I’m not ill, I just haven’t slept – Eggy’s been crying all night! I don’t know, he’s at an impressionable age and I don’t want Julien confusing him, but I don’t want either of them to be miserable either! And now Julien’s disappeared and I do want to get him back safely but what do I do about her once he’s back – oh, listen to me, I don’t even know which pronouns to use anymore!” Momma Duck paced up and down, throwing her wings up. “I don’t know what to do, I just want what’s best for my kids!”

Maurice took hold of her wing and said “Don’t you think that ‘what’s best’ for your boy might be seeing his friend? Julien’s an idiot, but he loves that kid.”

Momma Duck sighed. “You’re right. I’m so sorry for how I’ve been acting, I didn’t realise it would hurt her- I mean him – this much. I’ll get the local wildlife on lookout, and I’ll talk to him once we find him.”

“Thank you,” said Maurice, sounding relieved.

Skipper looked pointedly at the clock and clapped his flippers. “Okay, men – and women, ‘scuse me, Momma Duck – Operation Damsel- er, Dude In Distress is go! Don’t worry, Maurice, we’ll be back ASAP-”

“Aw, no. I’m coming with you,” Maurice said sternly, paws folded stubbornly across his chest.

“What? No, no, no! The concrete jungle’s no place for an amateur, Maurice!”

“He won’t come back with you after what you said to him, and I’m not waiting to find him any longer than I have to. No arguments, I’m coming with you.”

“Fine,” Skipper sighed, figuring they didn’t have time for an argument. “Just make sure you keep up.”

As the zoo gates opened, the penguins, the ducks, and Maurice slipped out through the entering crowd and respectively belly-slid, waddled, or scampered down the road outside, pursued by Mort, who was running flat out and screaming “I wanna come toooooo!”

~

“... so there’s a group that meets up to talk about it. I was looking in their trash one day, and I overheard what they were talking about. And there’s a nice lady there who sometimes gives me snacks if I catch her in the right mood, so I kept hanging round there. You pick things up.”

“Oooh, really?” Julien had cheered up a lot while listening raptly to Max’s few pieces of information; Max obviously didn’t know much, but even that was more than Julien had known. “Maybe I should go there ...” he mused.

“Sorry, I think you have to be a human to join. But this cat I know figured out she was ... well, a she, I guess you know the story, and she hangs out there sometimes. I think she’s hoping to find herself a human.” Max pulled a face. “I don’t wanna be a pet. That’s how they catch ya – they win your trust, and then ... I dunno what they do but I don’t want to find out.”

“Ah, I could never do that pet thing, there’s too much King Julien for just one of the peoples,” Julien said, preening.

“So what are you gonna do now you’ve left the zoo?”

“I ...” Julien deflated. “... don’t know.” He shuffled awkwardly and popped another maggot into his mouth. “Maybe I could catch a plane back to Madagascar.”

“Great idea. Why don’t you set off now?” said a shrill, smug-sounding voice.

Julien and Max jumped and spun around to see a rat emerging from a hole in a nearby wall.

Julien whooped with laughter. “And what are you going to be doing about it if we don’t, little mousie?”

“Julien, no!” Max grabbed Julien’s paw and started to pull him to the mouth of the alleyway.

“Me? Nothing. But the boss might have something to say about it.”

There was a crash and a section of brickwork in the wall gave way. When the dust cleared, an enormous, muscular rat emerged from the hole, grinning evilly at Max.

“Well well, if it isn’t Max. I told you to stay out of Rat King territory, and now I find you bringing friends around?”

“I-I didn’t bring him, he showed up!” Max scrabbled towards the street, then remembered Julien, who was standing still, paralysed with fear. He turned around and shook Julien’s shoulder. “C’mon, buddy, we gotta go now!”

The Rat King peered at Julien. “Wait, aren’t you that weirdo who ruined our hockey game?”

“I did not ruin it, I- er. Um, you are bigger and scarier than I remembered, so I think I shall just be going. Sorry to have wasted your time.” Julien turned on his heel and scampered towards the street, close behind Max.

The Rat King guffawed loudly. “Yeah, run like the sissy little princess you are!”

The words cracked something in Julien’s mind. He stopped and turned around very slowly, a dangerous smile spreading over his face.

“I have not been having a nice day. You, Mister Rat, are about to be having a worse one."


	10. Chapter 10

“Fred? Fred!”

Fred the squirrel peered out of his tree at the sound of Momma Duck’s call.

“Huh? Oh, hey there.”

“A friend of mine is missing, and I wanted to ask if you’d seen him.”

Fred shrugged. “I’ve seen a lot of people.”

“A specific friend. Do you know King Julien? The lemur from the zoo?” A blank stare from Fred. “Grey fur, black and white tail, yellow eyes? Funny accent? Always wears a leaf crown?”

“Dances a lot!” piped up Eggy.

“Oh yeah, him. Sure, I’ve seen him,” said Fred. There was an audible pause as Momma Duck waited for him to continue.

“Have you seen him recently?” she said, when he didn’t. “As in, today? He went missing this morning.”

“Oh. No, I haven’t seen him today.”

Momma Duck groaned and wondered why she’d picked Fred to ask. Mercifully, there was a rustling in the bushes heralding the arrival of someone decidedly more helpful.

“Antonio! Thank goodness you’re here!”

“Senora!” The otter bowed. “How may I be of service?”

“A friend of mine is missing, and we need help searching.” Momma Duck quickly described Julien again and gave Antonio a very strongly edited version of the story, mentioning only that Julien had been in an argument with her and some other friends; the details were Julien’s business to reveal, not hers. “... so we could do with some help,” she finished.

“Why, certainly, Senora! Any friend of yours is a friend of mine,” said Antonio, shaking her wing.

“Thanks. I’d probably have an easier time flying, but I can’t when I’ve got the kids along,” Momma Duck said, waving a wing towards her brood. She looked back up at the tree. “Fred, I’ll probably regret this, but can you look after the kids?”

Fred’s perpetual dazed expression was almost overwritten by shock. “Uh, I don’t know how to look after kids.”

“Just watch them and don’t let them get hurt. I promise I’ll come back and check on them as soon as possible. If anyone else drops by, tell them I told you Julien’s missing, describe him, and ask if they’ve seen him. Okay?”

“O-okay.” Fred scrambled down the tree, blinking as the rain hit him. “Stupid rain. Okay, come on, kids, I’ve gotta babysit you so please be good ...”

When she was sure Eggy wasn’t listening, Momma Duck leaned closer to Antonio and whispered “Check the bottom of the lake.”

Antonio’s eyes widened. “Is that necessary?”

“Yes, even if just to rule it out. Julien’s a little accident-prone and a lot melodramatic. I want to be sure he didn’t do anything stupid or ... impulsive.”

~

“I told you mammals it was a bad idea to come along!”

Maurice and Mort hugged each other and shivered, Mort wrapping himself in Maurice’s tail. “Sorry, Skipper – lemurs aren’t as good with cold water as you penguins are. Warm water, yeah, we used to live in a rainforest, but ...”

“I’m drowning!” Mort whined.

“I know we’re slowing you up, but I really don’t want to stay behind. I feel like I’d be abandoning Julien. I care about him. And the next word outta your beaks had better not be ‘why?’”

Rico closed his beak and sagged slightly. “Aw.”

Kowalski brushed water out of his head feathers. “Curse this rain! There’s no way we’ll be able to find any trace of him in this!” Rico gabbled in agreement.

“Maybe Kowalski’s right. We’ve been out here for hours, we’re never gonna find him!” Skipper paused, and glanced up hopefully. “I said, we’re never gonna find him.”

“Uh, I heard you, Skipper,” Private pointed out.

“I’m not talking to you, soldier. It’s a basic rule of the universe; just as you give up, something entirely random happens which results in success.” Skipper glanced around, as if waiting for Julien to appear out of thin air.

“I don’t think the universe heard you,” commented Maurice.

Skipper groaned. “Okay, resume searching.”

“I thought you said we’re never going to find him,” Private said. Skipper cuffed him over the head, as usual.

“Forget what I said, we keep searching! We don’t leave a man behind, even if he’s a lemur.”

Maurice, despite his worry, couldn’t help but smile a little at Skipper finally getting it right.

As they turned their backs to leave the alleyway, there was a sliding noise and a splashing crash. They turned around to see Max lying, dazed and rain-soaked, half-in and half-out of an overturned trashcan; he’d slid down the drainpipe and landed awkwardly in the can.

“Mooncat?!”

“Penguins!” Max hugged Skipper, much to the penguin’s annoyance. “I am so glad I found you! Your friend Julien got out and he’s in trouble, he’s gonna get himself killed!”

“He’s what? No, never mind, just take us to him!”

“C’mon, this way!”

As they slid after Max, Skipper gave the others a smug look and said “Told you so.”

~

Julien sprang at the rat, slipping in a puddle, missing completely and landing on his face. The Rat King laughed and swung a fist down at him, but he rolled out of the way and grabbed the fallen trashcan lid. He held it up just in time as the Rat King aimed another blow at him; there was a clang as the rat’s paw connected, and the Rat King yelled, more in surprise than pain. 

Julien chuckled as he leapt to his feet. “Shall we dance?”

The battle really wasn’t unlike a dance, he thought. Judge your partner’s movements and react accordingly ... if it worked with the duckling, it would work with the rat. He would have preferred background music, but needs must.

Instinctively he rubbed his tail on his wrists, where his musk glands should have been, and flicked his tail towards his opponent like a skunk. If he’d been a true male the stink would have helped to disorient and distress his opponent, but as it was, it unfortunately had little effect except to further annoy the rat. The rat lunged again, and Julien twirled neatly out of the way, tripping the rat with his tail as he did. This proved to be a mistake, as the rat’s tail wrapped around Julien’s waist, bringing him down too. Julien rolled as he fell and managed to jump back up, but the Rat King’s fist swung upwards and connected with Julien’s groin. Julien gasped and doubled up; contrary to popular belief, having internal reproductive anatomy didn’t mean a strike to that area didn’t hurt. He landed on the rat and recovered enough to grip the Rat King’s neck with his ankles and sink his teeth into the hairless tail. The Rat King roared and jerked upright, Julien backflipping onto his feet. He reached down and grabbed the trashcan lid again; it was heavy, but he needed a shield. He wished he had a stick or something else that would make a better weapon.

“Quit flouncing around and gimme a decent fight, dancin’ queen!” snarled the rat. “C’mon, I dare ya, hit me!”

“You want me to hit you? You really want me to? Fine!”

Julien gripped the edge of the trashcan lid and swung it sideways into the Rat King’s face.

Into the blow, Julien poured all his frustrations: the memories of the sad little boy dressed up in pink flowers; the poking and prodding he endured at the vet’s and the time they’d tried to involve him in the breeding programme (going so far as to put a playpen in his habitat, presumably to encourage his motherly instincts); the stupid, stupid penguins ...

He heard the crunch and the rat’s gurgling yell as if from far away, and saw the Rat King collapse against the wall, spitting teeth and clutching his broken jaw. Julien laughed triumphantly, waving his fist in the air and shaking his hips.

“Whoo! Oh yeah! Once again I have kicked your boo-tay! Who is the real king around here now, big ugly mousie?”

The small rat, whom Julien had forgotten about in the fight, ran to the hole in the wall and whistled sharply.

Dozens of rats poured out of the hole and surrounded Julien.

The Rat King could barely speak, but he managed to get out two words clearly enough through the bloody froth for Julien to hear; “Still me.”


	11. Chapter 11

The rats swarmed over Julien, clawing and biting. He fended a few off with the trashcan lid and knocked some more off himself by throwing his body against the wall, but there were always more, and finally he was pulled to the ground. He struck his head on the pavement, and his vision faded in and out. The puddle beneath him took on a tint of cloudy red. The stink of sewer rats forced its way into his lungs until he retched, his ears filled with chittering laughter. Julien felt himself being dragged towards the hole in the wall. Shaking with fear, he pressed his thighs together and tucked his tail in, mentally begging the sky spirits to ensure that, if the rats killed him, they wouldn’t eat him. If they did, they’d notice, and he couldn’t bear the shame again.

“Drop that lemur!”

The rats dropped him, literally. Julien sat up, blinking, and saw four familiar figures silhouetted in the alley mouth.

“Penguins!” he shouted gleefully. “You came to- wait, am I allowed to still be mad at you if you save me?”

“Not the time, ringtail!” shouted Skipper, knocking away a pouncing rat with a blow of his flipper. “Either run or fight!”

Julien hauled himself upright. Running would have been the sensible option, but he was still enraged; more so now, after his brush with death. Now he was slightly less outnumbered, and the rats couldn’t take him by surprise again. He dropped onto his forepaws and swung his body around, kicking away half a dozen rats, then cartwheeled back onto his feet. Not the most efficient move, but it was fun. He picked up another two rats and hurled them against the wall; caught one by the tail and used it to knock out several more; saw one sneaking up on Private and took it out with a downward chop and a wink to Kowalski.

The Rat King had decided to cut his losses and head back to the hole, but Julien saw him and sprang onto his back, clawing and biting. Lemurs have in fact been known to eat rodents, and while Julien had never hunted in his life, the instinct was there. The rat howled and tore at the angry lemur, but Julien remained latched on, teeth locked in the rat’s neck.

“Julien! Julien, jump!”

Julien heard Skipper’s yell before he realised the Rat King was about to slam him against the wall. He unclenched his teeth, grabbed the rat’s ears and flipped over his head, causing the rat to cannon into the wall himself. Julien dropped down in front of the rat, who stumbled forward and tripped over him, landing with a loud splashing crash on the wet pavement.

The sewer rats stopped fighting back and gaped. Julien looked down at his vanquished opponent, heart racing, and gasped “Wow.”

Skipper looked up at Julien and nodded approvingly, then grabbed the nearest rat and shook it. “And that’s just a taste of what we got! Take your boss outta here before we leave all of you knocked out in the gutter!”

“O-okay, just don’t hurt us!” The rat wriggled free and joined the rest of the swarm in attempting to lift their unconscious leader. It took a dozen of them to lift him entirely off the ground. They scurried back to the hole, leaving no trace of their presence behind.

“Julien!” Skipper dashed up to the lemur, who was leaning against the wall, still panting hard. “Julien, I’m so sorry for what we said to you!”

Julien blinked in surprise. “What? You’re not allowed to apologise! I’m still mad at you!”

Skipper clutched Julien’s paw. “I know! I’m so sorry I was such a ... a cloaca to you.” Private gasped and covered his ears. Skipper ignored him. “Julien, I wanted to tell you ... it doesn’t matter whether you’re a girl or a guy. We just want you back home.”

“Ha! I tell you, you are hating me, and now suddenly you are wanting me back?”

“Whoa! Nobody said we hated you!” Skipper protested, raising his flippers. “Okay, yeah, sometimes we do hate you when you’re loud or annoying, but why would we hate you over being a guy?”

Julien blinked again and murmured “Um, well, I thought ... with what you said ...”

“We didn’t hate you,” Kowalski said. “We just didn’t get it. Honestly, we’re still not sure we get it.” Rico nodded as Kowalski continued; “But we should have accepted that you do.”

Julien looked at the penguins, not sure what to make of this. “Y-you mean it?” he stammered. “You’re okay with me?”

The penguins nodded. Julien’s eyes filled up with happy tears. He wiped them away and looked at his reflection in the bloody puddle. Through the distortion caused by the rain, he saw that he looked a mess. His soaking fur had been torn out in clumps, his eyes were both starting to blacken, and he was bruised and bleeding in a dozen places. He couldn’t remember a time he’d felt better.

Private leaned backwards and yelled up to the nearby roof “It’s okay, guys, you can come down now!”

Max, Maurice, and Mort slid down the drainpipe. The two lemurs ran up to Julien, overcome with relief, Maurice yelling “Julien! You’re okay!”

“Maurice! Mort!” Mort latched happily onto Julien’s feet. Julien picked up Maurice in a tight hug and, much to the surprise of both Maurice and the onlookers, showered him with kisses. “Oh, Maurice-“ kiss, “I missed you-“ kiss, “so much! Don’t-“ kiss, “ever-“ kiss, “-even think about leaving me again!”

Maurice blinked indignantly and pushed Julien away. “What?! You were the one who left!”

“But you left me alone before that!”

“You told us to!”

“Well, you should have been knowing not to!”

Maurice laughed and patted Julien’s back. “Yeah, I’d say you’re back to normal.”

“I am feeling normal! Not even me-normal, I mean normal-normal, and I like it!”

“Hooray for normal!” squeaked Mort, removing one paw from Julien’s ankle for a victory wave. Julien put Maurice down, yanked Mort off his leg, and glared into the mouse lemur’s eyes. Mort giggled. Julien sighed and shrugged.

“Fine, you can be hugging on my feet just this once. But only because I feel like being nice.” Mort blinked innocently at Julien, who groaned. “Okay, okay. Yes, I was missing you too.”

“Yay!” Mort squealed, latching onto Julien’s neck. Julien awkwardly patted Mort’s head and smiled.

Maurice mopped at the rat bites on Julien’s arms and torso. “Ooh, this looks painful. C’mon, we’d better get you back for a checkup ...”

Max nodded to the penguins. “Thanks, guys. D’you mind if I come back with you to the zoo? I just wanna make sure Julien’s okay.” Skipper nodded and Max grinned.

Julien took Maurice’s arm and, in a rare display of helpfulness, held an old newspaper over both of them to protect them from the rain. Since they were already soaked to the skin, it was a bit late, but Maurice appreciated the thought. The group took the rooftops and back alleys to Central Park, unseen by the human population; not a huge achievement, as New Yorkers will ignore just about any oddity. Max and the penguins split up in the park to find their search party members and spread the news that Julien had been found, leaving the lemurs to go home themselves. Because of the rain, it was a quiet day at the zoo, so no humans were near the main entrance except for the bored ticket-taker, absorbed in a newspaper inside the booth. 

Julien walked through the zoo gates, subjects beside him, head held high, once again feeling every inch the king.

~

Julien knocked on the door to the vet’s office, waved at the penguins in the bushes, then huddled in a heap and tried to look suitably pitiful. The door opened, and the vet’s intern Shawna looked out.

“Yes, who is- hey, how’d you get out, little guy?”

Guy. Julien giggled as Shawna scooped him up.

“Aww, that doesn’t look good. Have you been fighting with the other lemurs? ... No, wait, these look like ... rat bites? Guess I’ll have to talk to Alice about fixing your habitat, we don’t want rats getting in. Or you getting out again. It’s dangerous outside, you poor thing.”

Julien lay limply across Shawna’s shoulder, inwardly pleased. He wasn’t too concerned about Shawna talking to Alice; Alice would never get round to increasing his habitat’s security enough to keep him in. He was so happy he didn’t get angry when Shawna checked under his tail and apologised to him for calling him a “guy”, nor did he struggle when she shaved patches of his fur for better access, or washed and stitched his wounds, or even when she used the thermometer.

He did scream like a little girl when he got the rabies shot, but nobody blamed him for that.


	12. Chapter 12

“That lemur okay?” Alice asked, peering into the quarantine pen.

“Yes, she’s fine,” said the vet, locking the cabinet for the night. “She’s a tough little creature, she’ll recover soon enough. It’s a pity we haven’t been able to breed her – she seems healthy enough, but apparently she just didn’t get along with the male we put her with. Problem is the females are only fertile one day a year, so we have to wait a while till we can try again.”

“Great. We’re keeping the world’s only lesbian lemur. Maybe we should put that in the zoo brochure,” said Alice sarcastically.

Julien scowled and muttered “Stephanie and her ladyfriends would be wanting to have words with you about that,” but didn’t make a fuss. Skipper was right; humans were all morons. It wasn’t worth getting upset over anymore. He knew who he was.

The humans switched the lights off and left him in the dark, curled up and hugging his bandaged tail. His good mood had rapidly worn off. A month of rabies quarantine was a fine reward for all he’d been through.

Suddenly, the door burst open and four tiny shadows darted into the room.

“Penguins?!”

“Ssh! C’mon, ringtail, you didn’t think we’d leave you in here?” Skipper said with a wink. “Don’t worry, there ain’t been the quarantine cage built that can keep us in or out. Rico?”

One coughed-up paperclip later, the lock was open. Julien sprang out, sheer joy overwhelming the pain of his fresh battle wounds, and hugged all four penguins in turn. Skipper shoved him away. “Okay, okay, no need for the touchy-feely routine. All in a night’s work. Now c’mon.”

Julien followed the penguins to the food court, where he gasped with delighted surprise; every zoo-dweller was gathered there, an array of food and drink to suit all of them was arranged on the tables, and paper garlands decorated the walls. Momma Duck and her brood were near the front, sitting next to Max and Fred, the latter looking very relieved to be rid of duckling-care duties, insofar as Fred ever had any expression. Maurice took his paw and said “Welcome home, your majesty.”

“Aw, you didn’t have to do this,” Julien said, with a brief bow to the crowd. “But I am very glad you did. Thank you all.”

“Julien!” Marlene yelled delightedly, running forward to hug him.

Julien scowled at her, but didn’t push her away. “I thought you were still mad at me for getting the girl germs on you.”

“Hey!” Marlene pulled away, and sighed. “I’m sorry about how I reacted. I was concerned you were using me, but I shouldn’t have hit you. I don’t think you’re the kind of guy who’d do that anyway, so I’m sorry I assumed.”

“It’s okay. I can see how you thought that, but no.”

“And about the ‘girl germs’ ... well, I think I just couldn’t tell the difference when I was feral either, my memory’s a little fuzzy. But if it did turn out that I like girls too, that’s not a problem or anything, and I really shouldn’t have acted as if it was somehow something horrible you did to me. It just kind of took me by surprise. I’ve always thought I knew myself pretty well, and I wasn’t sure how to react.”

“Heh. I know how that feels,” Julien said, shuffling his feet.

“Okay, okay, ladies and gentlemen,” said Skipper, clapping his flippers and hopping onto a chair back for visibility. “I’m sure everyone would like to welcome King Julien back home. Emphasis on the ‘king’ part.”

There was a cheer from the crowd.

“Good, good. Before we get the party started, the boys and I would like to make a formal apology. Julien; as far as we’re concerned, who you are isn’t controlled by what may or may not be under your tail. You’re noisy, spoilt, bossy, obnoxious, and a borderline kleptomaniac-”

“Hey, are you apologising or lecturing me?!”

“-but that would be the same whether you’re a guy or a girl,” Skipper continued. “The only difference to us is that the boy Julien is happy, and as penguins our job in this zoo is to ensure that its inhabitants are happy. I hope you can forgive us for neglecting our duties in such a manner.”

“Sorry,” said Rico, waving a flipper.

“Sorry,” said Private.

“I too am sorry for how we treated you, and I have spent some time considering how we could make it up to you,” said Kowalski, stepping forward and taking Julien’s paw. “If you wanted to, I could try to find a way to turn you fully male. It would raise problems with the humans, but I’m sure we could work something out if you really wanted me to.”

Julien pulled away. “What? No! No no no no! I am quite definitely not wanting that anymore.”

Kowalski blinked. “You don’t want me to ... fix you?”

Julien held up one paw and preened his ears with the other. “Please. So about a paw-sized portion of my person is not perfect? I think I still got a pretty sweet deal. I don’t want to risk jinxing the rest of me. Imagine if my un-perfect part was something everyone would notice!” He shuddered. “I would have changed it when it was making everyone act weird to me, but not now.”

In an undertone to Maurice, Skipper said “Well, there’s a point in favour of narcissism.”

“And anyway, half the time your inventions go wrong and nearly kill us all-“ Julien continued.

“Forty-seven percent of the time! Sheesh!” Kowalski threw up his flippers and groaned.

Julien caught the look Marlene was giving him. “What?”

“’Un-perfect’? Is that what you think of-?” She pointed angrily downwards at herself.

“No! Of course not, that is not what I was meaning!” Julien said, shaking his head frantically. “The girl things are not bad things! I would just have preferred not to have them attached to me!” He shrugged. “But since I do, I can live with having them. And they are perfect when they are attached to the real girls.” He winked lewdly and giggled.

“Ew!” Marlene said, half-heartedly swinging a paw towards his face. It brushed gently against his whiskers, and he and Marlene both smiled. “Heh, I get what you mean now. It’s cool.”

“So, are you now accepting my offers of courtship?” Julien asked hopefully.

“Uh, no offence, but no thanks. I’m glad you’re okay and I’m not disgusted or anything, but I’m not going to pity-date you.”

“Aw.”

“Well, never fear, Ringtail, we do have a backup plan,” said Skipper, nodding to Kowalski.

“Here you go. I hope this goes some way towards making up for everything,” Kowalski said, handing over what appeared to be two strips of grey fur fabric. Julien took them and peered at them closely; they turned out to be elasticated armbands, with small blunt metal spikes attached. Julien’s eyes widened as he understood, and he glanced up at the penguins. Kowalski nodded. Julien strapped the cuffs onto his forearms. They fitted perfectly.

“Hey!” he declared gleefully, examining them. “Hey, look, Maurice! My spurs came in! Finally! I have waited for this since I was four years old!” He danced around, laughing wildly.

“You should take them off before your next trip to the vet so he doesn’t see them, but I matched them to your fur colour so nobody will notice if you just wear them around the place. I hope they’ll do.”

Julien ran up to Kowalski and hugged him, sobbing with joy. “Oh, thanking you, thanking you so much, sciencey penguin! How can I ever be thanking you enough?”

“You can start by removing those spikes from my kidney region, please!”

“Whoops. Sorry.” Julien backed off, giggling. “I should be practicing not poking people, yes?” He touched the tips of the spurs; not sharp enough to puncture his beloved bouncy. Good, he wouldn’t have to take them off to use it. “Thanks, sci- ... Kowalski. See, I am remembering your name.”

“Glad you’re happy. Now, I think it’s time to introduce you to someone ...”

“What, who- wait, why are you taking me to Joey?!” Julien struggled frantically in Maurice’s grip.

“Don’t worry, your majesty, just come along ...”

Joey leaned on the wall, looking down at the frightened Julien with a noticeably less angry expression than usual. “Hey, mate.”

“Uh ... hi,” Julien said nervously, waving weakly.

Joey sighed. “Look, I’m sorry I missed the meetin’ where you told everyone about ... you know. I assumed it wasn’t goin’ to be important.”

“Hey! I am the king, everything I am saying is-“ Julien protested, but Maurice hurriedly hushed him.

Joey continued; “I wanted to say, I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I think I know the feelin’ a little better than most here.”

Julien’s eyes widened as he realised the implications. “You mean, you are also being ... like me?”

“No, but I know what it’s like for everyone to make that mistake,” Joey said, reaching a paw down to shake Julien’s. “Normally only female roos are s’posed to have pouches. I was born with one, and everyone used to think I was a girl. It ain’t much fun.”

“Ah, I am seeing. No wonder you are always being so grumpy.”

Joey’s eyes narrowed, and he said “The only reason I’m not smashin’ you into the ground right now is I think we’d both appreciate havin’ someone to talk to about this kind of thing, mister.” He was smiling when he said it, though.

Julien started weeping happily again. “You remember to call me ‘mister’. I think I am liking you now.”

As Julien and Joey shook paws, Marlene sipped her drink and looked down at the chameleons. “So, I have to ask, what do you think about his ... whatever it is?”

One chameleon placed a claw on Marlene’s foot and turned pink, then waddled slowly in Julien’s direction, pointed to him, and turned blue.

Marlene chuckled. “Guess that’s an okay from you guys, then.”

~

Naturally, the first thing Julien did upon being officially back was to declare the celebratory party started. Despite his injuries, he partied as hard as he ever had; at first out of determination to feel normal again, but when everyone greeted him and treated him as they had before the incident, that determination changed to sheer joy.

“Ah, the prodigal returns!” Mason and Phil took turns to shake Julien’s paw. “Oh, when we heard you were back, Phil and I sneaked out briefly-“

“You left the zoo without permission?” Skipper snapped, popping up suddenly behind the chimps.

Mason jumped. “Goodness, where did you come from? Ahem. Anyway, Phil thought it would be a good idea to drop into a bookshop in hopes of picking up further information about your condition, and we found this, which seems to cover it pretty well.” He held up a book. “Phil and I are willing to translate it for anyone who’s interested, we thought it might help avoid further misunderstandings. What’s the title again, Phil? ...” Mason watched as Phil signed. “It’s called ‘Transgender Explained For Those Who Are Not’.”

Julien peered at the book. “Uh ... I am, but can I still listen to it? There is still a lot I am not knowing about it.”

“Good idea, but perhaps we should save it for later. No sense in bringing down the mood of this delightful party, eh?”

“Oh, indeed no!” Julien pranced off, seizing a paper flower garland from the wall as he did. The penguins, who were sitting in a row and drinking smoothies, were very surprised to find the garland dropping onto their heads. Julien danced past them, laughing.

Private waved to him as he disentangled himself. “Seems like he’s happy again.”

“So she is- I mean HE is!” Kowalski slapped his forehead. “I’m sorry, Maurice, I really am trying. I guess I’ll forget about it eventually, I mean we have been calling him ‘he’ since we’ve known him so going back to that should be easy ...” 

“It’s okay, I know it’ll still take a bit of getting used to. Will for us as well. Up till this whole business, being here was probably good for him. I know you couldn’t tell the difference till he told you, but to other lemurs, he couldn’t hope to pass. Sure, other lemurs don’t actually care, since he’s the king and all, but he liked being around people who didn’t notice, y’know?” Maurice watched the dancing ringtail with a wistful look in his eyes. “You know the bit I struggled with most? By lemur standards, he’d have made a pretty fine-looking woman.”

Private blinked, and said “That’s surprisingly depressing.”

“Eh, it’s no big deal anymore. I’m used to him,” Maurice said with a shrug. “And hey, at least now everyone knows, I don’t have to come up with a cover story for his heat period.”

“His wha- oh.” Skipper stared. “Thank you, Maurice, I think I may need to scrub my brain now. Preferably with fire.”

Maurice rolled his eyes and took the tray of smoothies to the tables. He narrowly avoided tripping over the ducklings; Julien had joined Eggy, and both of them were teaching the rest of the little flock to dance. Maurice noticed the pink flower lodged in the little duck’s headfeathers. Momma Duck was perched upon a table alongside Marlene, engaged in lively conversation.

“-and he- oh, hello, Maurice! May I have a smoothie?”

“Sure, here you go. Geez, what are you feeding that kid? I’m exhausted just watching him,” said Maurice, climbing up the chair and handing Momma Duck a smoothie.

“I know, I don’t know how he does it,” she chuckled. “Ooh, strawberry. Thank you.”

“Momma, look!” Eggy called up, pointing to the pink flower on his head. “I’m Princess Eglantina!”

Maurice looked curiously at Momma Duck. “I thought you didn’t want Julien confusing him.”

“Well, it took a little getting used to,” said Momma Duck with a shrug, “but I don’t see how it’s doing him any harm, so I think I was really making a fuss over nothing. He seems happy, and it’s certainly much safer than commando operations.”

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it. Sorry for interrupting,” said Maurice, hopping back off the chair.

“Oh, it’s okay!” said Marlene, waving. “See you later.” She turned back to Momma Duck and said “So, who’s this Antonio guy you were talking about?”

Julien laughed and waved to Momma Duck and Marlene as he continued to dance. “Your momma is being cool again, yes?”

“Haha, yeah!” Eggy giggled, dropping into his imitation of Julien’s accent. “It is very good to be the seeing of you again, sir!”

Julien scooped up and hugged the little duck. “Good to be seeing you again, too, JJ ... I mean, Eggy.”

~

“Maurice?”

“Yes, your majesty?”

Julien peeled the sleeping Mort off his feet and squirmed into a more comfortable position on the bouncy. “What would my parents think of me?”

“Wh-what?”

“You knew my parents a little longer than I did. What would they think of me?” Julien sighed. “Mommy would be angry about losing the female heir, Papa would miss his little princess ...”

“Now, Julien, I’m not gonna have you getting miserable about this again,” Maurice warned him. “Yeah, I can’t deny your parents would have been surprised, but they’d want you to be happy, yeah?”

Julien smiled. “Yeah.” He huddled up to Maurice and started to purr quietly, proudly combing his tail with his new spurs.

“Ringtail?”

Julien and Maurice jumped as Skipper popped up beside them. “Huh? Bossy penguin?”

“Are you still mad, Ringtail? I got worried when I realised you hadn’t turned on the noisemaker.”

“Ah, no, not mad. Just tired.” Julien yawned. “Crying for three days really takes it out of me.”

“Okay, just checking. So we’re good? No hard feelings?”

“Yeah, we’re good, pengui- Skipper.” Julien lay back and smiled up at the clouds. “Maybe things aren’t as good as they could be. But they’re good enough.”

The End


End file.
